waco journal entries

Earlier this summer we took a handful of senior high students to participate in what is called a "Poverty Simulation." We did it through an ecumenical ministry called Mission Waco, a group of folks working with the poor and marginalized in North Waco. They also work to bring awareness and to mobilize middle-class Christians into hands-on involvement with the poor. Once the simulation weekend ended, we stayed for several days working with Mission Waco on various projects in the neighborhood. Here are some reflections from my journaling that week...

Friday, June 22nd, 2007
Waco, Texas...I am on my first youth mission trip (as a leader). I believe it's true that a group will only go as far as, or be stretched as much as, the leader will go. My continual prayer is that the Lord will provide me with enough grace and strength to remain humble, and servant of all.

We arrived around 8 pm, and the staff here at Mission Waco sat us down to explain the ins and outs if what is called a "Poverty Simulation." The idea of the weekend / goal for the weekend is to assimilate into the life of a poverty-stricken single parent with three children (with the options, resources, or lack of options and resources, that this individual would have). Basically, you are given $40 (simulation money, not real cash) for the weekend. The money is redeemable for clothes ($3 for one pair of thrift store clothes, which you have to purchase and wear for the entire 40ish or so hours), meals ($6 a meal with the option of breakfast and lunch both days), and lodging ($20 a night to sleep inside). So, if you add that up, you'll realize that your money is quickly spent if you sleep inside both nights. And actually, everyone in the group starts out with $31 rather than $40, since dinner on Saturday night is mandatory and you have to buy clothes. The other option for lodging is, of course, outside. You get to hold on to four items for the weekend, and everything counts as an item. If you keep an article of your clothing, that's an item. Your toothbrush is an item. Your Bible is an item. You can't swap items once it starts, but you can share items within the group (there are about 30 of us here). The only free items are a pen and journal and any prescribed medication. Right before we were given time to choose our items, they drew tickets for three homeless individuals. One of them is me. I was given no money and no items (just this pen and journal), and so I am to rely on the grace and mercy of my brothers and sisters around me. It is up to me to panhandle or ask to borrow things. One interesting thing to note is how the groups were tempted in every way to break the rules (sneak an item, sleep in the van, etc.). And here we are, as a society, blaming the poor and marginalized for "breaking the rules." Given the situation, we want to do the exact same thing. I am sleeping outside (without choice) tonight. Will gave me my own sleeping bag for the weekend (which left him only three items), and the rest of the youth group pooled their money to buy me a meal (lunch) tomorrow and a bed inside tomorrow night. So the first night outside, the second in. Once our group selected their items, we went to the clothes closet nearby to swap outfits. Mine consists of a plaid long-sleeve button-up, a pair of oversized polyester slacks, and a pair of women's house shoes (the only shoes they had that fit). The night is going well so far. I made a sign to panhandle with tomorrow so that I can eat Sunday lunch. JT and Eric are going to play songs in hopes that others will give to me.

Saturday, June 23rd, 2007
I didn't get breakfast this morning. Well, I didn't have any money. From what I heard, they served chips and a soda. That's it. The reasons being that most poor families don't take the time to actually cook breakfast for their children. Individuals may not have an empty stomach, but that doesn't mean that they are necessarily being provided the nourishment they need. Lunch turned out to be rather interesting. With $6 in my pocket for a meal (from the youth group), they sent us out on a scavenger hunt. We were on the streets for lunch. They gave us a list of about fifteen things to do and about three hours to complete the list. Among other things, we had to figure out a way to get lunch, borrow a quarter from a stranger, retrieve a usable item from the dumpster, visit with an elderly person, have one person in the group give something away to someone outside the group, interview someone about Christian giving trends (to the poor...the actual figure ended up being less than one half of one percent), and collect 100 aluminum cans and find out the current rate of redemption (all of this without telling what we're doing, and all of this while we were tired, hot, and hungry). Poverty will bring your true self to the surface. With that said, hopefully I will learn to respond to the poor with more grace and compassion when they seem pushy and demanding. We were able to complete all tasks, save one (we only collected about 10 cans). We had the privilege of spending time with some very neat brothers and sisters during the hunt. The first was Jamie. We helped her dig a couple trenches to improve the view outside her window at the halfway house. Will and I dug while the girls in our group made conversation, in hopes that we would find answers for questions about the city of Waco that we had to answer. We ended up talking to her for a while. I don't believe that we served her. I think that she served us. Before we left, the six of us held hands, prayed, and listened to a beautiful song from Jamie. The lyrics to her song were "God has made a miracle today. What is impossible with man is possible with God. God has made a miracle today." From there we walked to a restaurant to ask for the time. We ended up asking them for ice water as well. As we're sitting in the shade under their front porch, two fellows (Mike and Jim) approached us and made conversation. After an hour or so had passed by, the waitress came out and and blessed us with free fajitas for no reason! I really didn't think we would get any lunch. Will suggested that we mix lukewarm water and ketchup to make tomato soup. That was really our only idea. Dinner was a World Banquet. They assigned us to separate regions, served us as was appropriate, and led us in a dialogue about hunger / poverty related issues within each region. This also served the purpose of highlighting portion sizes in each region (compared to our portion sizes). I got to sit by Crazy Waco Peppermint Man during the dinner, who is a homeless man who comes to all the simulation weekends for the free meals. His real name is Kenneth. He attends one of the community colleges here in Waco, and has literally taken every single course offered. He takes one class a semester, never declares a major, and does it all on student loans. He doesn't declare so that he can continue taking one class until he dies, and never pay his loans back. Incredible. He's trying to apply for the nursing program, but he's discouraged by the fact that his fingernails are too long and dirty. As far as indebtedness goes, Kenneth is doing something very interesting. I think that debt plays a big part in simplicity, as well as the freedom to move about. Don't the scriptures tell us that the only debt we are to accumulate is the debt of love we owe our neighbor? Maybe that's not the point of the passage, but it's certainly something to think about. After dinner, I had to spend my only $6 on a "chance card" that said my child is sick and that I have to spend money on medicine. Good thing it was no more than that. We got an apple before bed, and that was excellent.

Sunday, June 24th, 2007
I slept well last night. No breakfast though. I could've begged, but I didn't. I woke up to the smell of waffles, as we were sleeping in the room right next door to the kitchen. We walked ( a good ways) to Church Under The Bridge this morning around ten. They meet under Interstate 35 South, where a lot of homeless folks used to sleep. I saw a much more hopeful picture of the church under that overpass. About half the congregation was homeless, and the other half consisted of university students, business folks, professors, and various other middle class folk. There's a fellow named Patrick who is a member there, and he's legally mentally ill. But because there is a place in the church for the mentally ill, Patrick plays in the worship band. He used to just run around on stage. Now he plays guitar. They outlined a box in tape and gave him that space to move around in, but that didn't work. He still plays guitar, unplugged. He walks across the stage (actually, in front of the stage on the ground) playing a red off-brand Telecaster that only has four strings. I smiled as I spotted him "tuning" before the service. Tears began to fill my eyes as Patrick paced back and forth across the stage, giving high fives and hugs to anyone walking by or anyone sitting on the front row. I bet he never misses a Sunday. Patrick gets it. There is just something about the Kingdom of God that folks on the margins just get that we middle classers don't. There is a rawness and and an open sense of brokenness before God and others. And Jesus talks about this. This is where he says that the tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the Kingdom of God ahead of you. The brother of our Lord puts it this way..."The brother in humble circumstances ought to take pride in his high position." Towards the end of the service, Jimmy called JT, Eric, and Shaina up to do a couple of songs. The rest of us from the simulation served as the choir. While we're singing, a peppermint hits me on the shoulder. I look up to find Kenneth smiling at me on the front row.

Monday, June 25th, 2007
I have been invited back into the pain. That is what I am hearing from the Lord this week. I have been invited, as Jesus did, to look from the hillside with compassion, but then to go and live amongst the suffering. This may sound simple, but really it affects every single decision I make. I worry that I will lose my desire to live simply (Luke 3:11). But I also understand that it is a process, a journey. It's a journey that is to be done with grace (and mostly in secret, as our Lord taught). There is no greater temptation in the area of simplicity than to talk about it all the time (and "lose our reward"), and to do it in a spirit of self-righteousness or anger. We will only become a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal if we do not speak and act in love. This is especially true while trying to mobilize middle class Christians into hands-on involvement in the lives of the poor.

Sunday, June 29th, 2007
One of our youth came up to me after the service this morning and told me about his first out-to-eat experience since the Poverty Simulation. His reflection was pretty simple...he felt that he had to finish every bite of food on his plate. That is simply profound. With knowledge comes responsibility. Isn't that the story of the Good Samaritan?

My own reflections are sort of all over the place. No one came out and said this, but the theme (at least my own theme) this week seemed to be that we are a throw-a-way society, and a throw-a-way church. This is one area where the church has not been a counter-cultural community, where we have conformed to the patterns of this world, and where we have not overcome evil with good. Food is not the only thing we throw away. We throw away elderly people, the mentally ill, and inner city children and their education. I've also learned that the rich need the poor. I mean, they really need them. I feel like I've always believed this, but that belief has been much more tangible this week. Stemming from this belief is my disbelief in charity or in "helping others." I want to push more for solidarity. Solidarity is horizontal. It is the idea that we all have something to learn from each other, and that we actually need everyone around us. We don't normally think that we need those on the margins. Maybe that's why Jesus blessed them.